Sex is awesome! It isn’t something you should be embarrassed about. We’re very much sexual beings and if you talk about it like it’s normal, which it is,  it suddenly stops being embarrassing.


trippin balls

So lthe other night I came so hard I tripped balls and halusinated.

No, really.

It’s happened a few times before. I think I might have mentioned how the girly gives mind blowing head but the past few times it’s been litteral.

It started a few months(?) ago, when after spoogin I saw colours. Like foresty greens and browns or cloud-like blues and whites. Then I started kinda seeing textures with the colours, like a detailed look at a coloured rug/blanket.

Then one particularly strong time I saw something. It was as if I was in a compleatly different place. And I don’t mean headspace, I mean an actual different place and was standing up looking out at a landscape. The ground was made of opaic sandy yellow/brown glass rocks about a foot across streaching out to the horison. On the horison were  hugely tall stone towers and behind them shiluettes of mountans. It only lasted a couple of seconds but it was spectacularlly clear.

There was another one but I’ve forgotten it.

Then the time after that I was in the middle of a sort of forrest. The ground was whitish misty water and all the trees were orange and had black tiger stripes.

Almost every time the girly gives me head I see colours but gaining in frequency I see stuff.

The other night was even weirder. As I came I went all … er… domly(?) for want of a better word. It normally only happens when I fuck my girly hard. It’s as if I step back from my body and a different part takes over. A more agressive and basic part. So, that was interesting and very nice. I normally have to hold back when I’m fucking the girly for fear of hurting her.

When I came I didn’t see anything, I just kind of stepped back for a bit and reveled in the feeling then slid back into myself. Apperently I was loud. Then about 2 minuites later while we were snuggeling, I had my eyes closed, I started to halucinate again. I was standing in a market but I couldn’t see it propperly because I was looking very closely at a green bottle on a shelf infront of me. It had the texture of glass that has been in the sea a long time and the shape of a pumpkin seed stood on end. The girly asked if I was ok and I opened my eyes. I had been twitching.

So, yea, not sure how to finish the ‘cool story bro‘ but that’ll have to do. That’s been interesting.

Anyone else have anything simular happen to them?

cold tiles

This is the last part of the main story thingy that’s been filling up too much damn space. These here are the other bits in order.

six monthavercery…rirry…ey

six monthavercery…rirry…ey Part 2

finish the fucking story

nearly there

long time no blog

It seemed that having an erection for 8+ hours straight has side effects. I didn’t go limp, far from it,  I just couldn’t get…. there. So, we continued fucking. We did it doggy style too. Great crac but still couldn’t quite get there. I realised I probably needed to pee which wouldn’t be helping matters so at an appropriate time we stopped so I could nip down to the bathroom. Just wanted to remind you all that this was mid winter. There was 2-4 inches of ice in town! IN TOWN! So needless to say her house was freezing.

I pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt and legged it down to the bathroom. God damn it was cold!!!! It was a tilled floor too. I had to shift from foot to foot because the cold was actually hurting them! I finished up and legged it back up and hopped back into bed.

The cold had taken it’s toll. My erection had been defeated! Of corse the girly was very understanding, we all know what happens to a guy in the cold. However, needless to say I was shockingly embarised.

It didn’t take long to recover but my confidence took a hit. We got back to the lovins but my heart just wasn’t in it. I hadn’t been able to cum and now the fucking cold fucking fucked me over. (fuck you snow!) I suddenly became very conscious of myself. breath noises. lack of breath noises. the placement of my hands. and the more aware of it the worse it got.

I can’t really remember but apperently i said something along the lines of “yea, ok, this isn’t guna happen” and the girly said in a very understanding way “ok”, then I cursed the tiles in some way.

And people say when you get cold feet it’ll ruin a relationship (BAH-DUM-TISH)
And that is the end of that part of the story. Yes it’s kind of abrupt but I’ll get onto the other things that relate to and continue that story, I just wanted to get the main part up out of the way for context and for the sake of finishing it. Didn’t expect it to be so long :/

long time no blog

Yea, it’s been a while. In the mean time I’ve moved in with the girly, gotten a job as an apprentice jeweler and shot my finger with a high powered laser a number of times.

ON WITH THE FUCKING STORY OF HOW WE GOT TOGETHER. there’s other shit i want to talk about but i want to get it out of the way cuz – Holy shit, I just found one of my eyebrow hairs on the keyboard, it’s like an inch and a half long! what the fuck?!!-   it kinda relates to it.

six monthavercery…rirry…ey

six monthavercery…rirry…ey Part 2

finish the fucking story

nearly there

“Fuck it!” I turned my head to face her and we kissed!
She smiled! A good start, I thought. We kissed again. And again. They quickly got more passionate. I suddenly took leave of my senses and slid a hand around to her thigh.

What the hell am I doing?! she didnt seem to mind, infact it seem the oppisit! what?! alright whatever.

The smootching and ass/thigh feeing continued (I’m very much an ass/legs man). Then I had my hand in her underware. Wait… what?! What the fuck?!!! How did I-? it seemed my body and taken over and just stopped talking to my mind.

From here it was all sort of a blur. She was wet and warm and moving herself against me. I slipped my fingers inside her and just went with what got the best response. It wasn’t long till she was making all sorts of pleasnt noises. Her mouth opened, wide. She clenshed up crushing my fingers a little and then relaxed. Holy shit, I thought, that went well. There was another cut in this strange movie and I was on top of her.

What?! I felt a little like that bit in Fight Club where he’s remembering fucking Marla and he has the “What?! How did I end up here” look on his face. Then I was inside her! Jesus! I had managed to roll her onto her back, mount her (for want of a nicer phrase), pull her underware to the side, and start moving inside her with out being mentally present. I could almost hear my crotch going “ohh thank god”. So we fucked. Can’t remember much of it but I seemed to be getting good responses all around.

But there was a problem.

It seemed that having an erection for 8+ hours straight has side effects. I didn’t go limp, far from it,  I couldn’t get … there. So…

lovely noise

Sex is awesome! It isn’t something you should be embarrassed about. We’re very much sexual beings and if you talk about it like it’s normal, which it is,  it suddenly stops being embarrassing.


The girly wrote a post basicly introducing vanilla people to the complexity of a D/s relationship and how communication is a VERY big part of it and that without it it doesnt work. It’s here, go have a read here.

With this in mind we got home after having a mini night out and a few drinks n started chatting about how it’s awesome how we just ask each other about sex related things and also how easy it is now and how it was so fucking difficult in the beginning. (“So, want thsa lovins?” “Yuz, but I think I’m a bish drunk”)

Looking back, it wasn’t in a ‘oh god, this relationship is such a fucking effort’ type way but more in a ‘well she hinted at this the last time, I want to talk to her/ask her about it but I have no idea about how to bring it up without it being weird’ type way. Oddly enough, as the Dom, it was a little harder for me to talk about kink then for her. I was still very much finding my feet where as she knew what she liked and, it seemed, had for a few years. Not only was this new… subject, shall we say, a bit intimidating but I was also intimidated by the way she was so comfortable with it. That sounds a little odd but being a total noobie at this subject and not really knowing exactly what you like while trying to be dominant over someone who’s already settled into what they like it very fucking difficult. Especially since all my experience before this told me that this isn’t ‘normal’ and that everything MUST be equal in a relationship especially when it comes to who’s in charge, that’s just how it works. The notion that this type of relationship ACTUALLY exists and that they can work AND that I’ve randomly found myself in one AND the idea that I’m the one who’s meant to be dominant, in charge, confident and steering the relationship is pretty fucking scary. I mean holy fuck! I wouldn’t be surprised if most relationships that start this way end up failing because of the underlying pressure.

Anyway, im getting as bit distracted. what I wanted to do is write a little helper post to tell other would be Dom’s/people who are interested in this sort of thing how I handled that pressure and how I moved from that initial point. I’m FAR from an expert on the subject but I found that when I was starting out one of the really helpful things was reading about how others started out. There is the whole ‘no one true path’ thing (there’s no one right/proper way of doing this type of thing) but even then just seeing how someone else did it helps

So, when we were starting out and I was really embarrassed and scared here’s what I did: I asked her about it.
Right now you’re thinking: ‘Well fuck you very much, squirl. That’s easy for you to say but have you ACTUALLY looked at someone you like and tried bringing up a subject that everything up to now has told you is weird and a little twisted?!’.

Honestly?   No.   I haven’t.
Most, if not all, of our initial exploration and chats on the subject were done through the safety blanket that is a computer screen. Yup, gchat got me into this. And even then it was FUCKING scary!

The girly had hinted a few times that she was a little kinky and liked being subby, being teased (sexually) and being spanked. I kinda got the subby thing and the teasing but never saw what people saw in spanking, to me it was like a foot fetish. (“that’s nice for them n all but I don’t get it”). HOWEVER! I was still curious about it all, so… I asked. Now, mind you, I didn’t just jump straight into gchat and go ‘remember how you said you liked being spanked and teased, lets talk about that. Ok… GO!’. That would have scared the shit out of me. I usually just let the flow of conversation kinda go that direction and then (very shyly) broach the subject. More in a, ok, we’re kinda talking about sexy things, I think I’ll ask. ‘ya know the way you said you liked being teased and that sort of thing, what did you mean?’. Now, that might seem very obvious but before this I spent DAYS wondering how I could find out more from the girlys point of view. As you might expect, over time, as we chatted, it got easier. I still didn’t get the spanking thing but pretty much said I’d give it a go just to see. And I did end up coming out of my protective shell a bit and let her know what I liked the idea of. It was all very slow and almost dancing around the subject but it got the ball rolling. We got it out there. We talked about things that we wouldn’t have been able to, or at least wouldn’t have found it as easy to, while face to face.

I think I’m rambling again. Haven’t blogged in a while and I think im still a bit hung over from last night. Anyhu, hope this helps some would be dom understand that it’s ok to not be domly all the time and to be shy when you’re finding your feet. Also hope it helps some would be sub understand what it’s like trying to figure out what one would like as a dom. It can be difficult for both partys but, as simple as it sounds, just have a chat and try things out, you’ll know if it’s not for you (I rather enjoy givin the spankings now bdw which I totally didn’t see coming).
The worst that could happen is that you find out what you like in sexual relationship.

eleven months and 2 days

Eleven months and two days. You’re lying asleep beside me. I woke you up a minuite ago by typing too loud while writing the last post but you rolled over twards the wall and are now making little squeaking noises in you’re sleep.

The past few months have flown by so easily. Not one fight. No voices raised in anger. All decisions are easy. If there’s a problem it’s said and talked about.

I’ve been living with you for two weeks strait now because I can’t get home with the snow and I kinda don’t want to go home. Life is nicer and easier with you around.

Is this how relationships are meant to be?

I love you pet, with all my heart.

ways to torture your pet


Deny her something but make her think it was her who gave you the idea.

Example from a text conversation we had this week:

Her – It would seem that sleeping with no pants on leaves me all horney when i wake up :/

Me – *makes mental note*

Her – May I have a little play? I suspect you’d rather have me waiting all squirmy for you to get home :/

Me – Of course you ca- Oh hey, that’s a great idea, pet 😉

nearly there

six monthavercery…rirry…ey

six monthavercery…rirry…ey Part 2

finish the fucking story


Just as I thought I couldn’t get any more awkward she scootched up a little closer, slid her leg up on mine, and then up onto this god damn erection that I couldn’t get rid of! Luckily she didn’t seem to notice and I tried not to move all that much for fear of stabbing her in the leg.

And that’s how it went for the night. I spent most of it awake trying to keep my blood flowing to keep my feet warm. I couldn’t move them you see, because, I, the intruding boy who goes and get’s an erection at the wrong time, was still desperately trying to hide it for all my worth.

I managed to pass out for a bit and then in the morning I found us in the same position. Upon awaking, the girly snuggled up a bit closer. I thought, “golly, she must be cold still”. Well, not really but it was along those lines. Then suddenly, she snuggled up to my neck and planted a little kiss!!!

I froze!
What the fuck?!! I was still only just waking up so the “HOLY-FUCK-WHAT-DO-I-DO?!” feeling fairly quickly dissolved into “….wait… did that really happen?”. An age of wondering passed…

Then… she planted another! The “HOLY-FUCK-WHAT-DO-I-DO?!” feeling quickly returned mixed with a “GOOD LORD IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED! NOW what do I do?!”. I lay there frozen, trying to work out my next move.

Running through the scenarios in my head. Most of them ended with me getting a slap, getting kicked out and having to appolag-She kissed me again! “Fuck it!” I turned my head to face her and we kissed!
She smiled! A good start, I thought. We kissed again. And again. They quickly got more passionate. I suddenly took leave of my senses and found myself…

finish the fucking story

six monthavercery…rirry…ey

six monthavercery…rirry…ey Part 2


…and in a very casual maner, she said: “you coming up?”

Now, you’re thinking: “Fuck yea! You’re definatly in there, go for it man!!”

But what I was thinking was: “that’s awfully nice of her to offer to share her bed so I don’t have to be cold on the couch like last time. But I’d hate to intrude”. No, really, I am that retarded when it comes to women.

So, looking at her, I hesitated…

You can see it, can’t you? That frozen moment. Lasting just sligtly too long. Her just outside the half closed doorway, me about to sit back down on the couch and settle in. Her going out on a limb. Me not wanting to intrude. Where all of the 11 months, which flew by in a wonderful week, could have been lost in a simple misunderstanding and a wanting to be polite.

“You sure?” I ventured. Followed by her doing her little smile, nod up then down with a slight rase of her eyebrow and a lightly said “yep”.

So on I followed. Up to this brave girl’s bedroom. Completly unaware of how far I had gotten dispite being sexually oblivious to every little sign. Her room was nice. Quite big and there was a view across to the lights of the city. I think it still had a little bit of a mess from when she was getting ready to go out but a girl mess is never all that bad so I didn’t even notice.

She got changed while I averted my eyes and busyed myself while getting ready. (hmm, I may have left the room, can’t remember). She hopped in and I went to do the same and I, being a nice, unasuming lad, actually asked if she minded me taking off my jeans when I got in. Remember, I still thought she was being nice and just letting me share her bed for the warmth. I mean I’ve done that before with girls, it’s only polite to ask. Wait…. hang on… *thinks back over the other times it’s happened* … … well I’ll be a … oh well. Anyway, she said of corse she didn’t mind so I whipped em off and hopped in beside her. The bed was FREEZING!!!! Like, so fucking cold that I involintarily squeaked as my back hit the covers! Then, just like downstairs, she snuggled in beside me. I was thinking “oh thank god, it’s really nice n all but it’s also nice n warm”.

So, there I was in the bed of a girl I liked. With said girly creature in it. In nothing but a tshirt (it was cold) and boxers. With her snuggled up to me. Then, as if my body said “well this fucking idiot isn’t getting the message, lets just kick things off without him” I suddenly get an erection that runs the risk of causing me to pass out.

Unfortunatly, this just made me feel soooo much more awkward, because, not only am I intruding on this girl, a girl I like, but now I’m rude enough to get a god damn steel-like erection because she snuggled up to me.

Just to top it all off and make me go “OH GOOD GOD” in my head, without warning she ….

six monthaver- meh, cant be bothered typing the rest Part 2

six monthavercery…rirry…ey


Ok, so apparently I “disputed her reasoning” and wondered what shoes had to do with fucking. Then she explained the concept of bedroom shoes and then took the opportunity to go to the loo upstairs “in the sure and certain knowledge you were watching me go up them in my bedroom shoes”. Oh my, I getting flustered remembering it. For a Dom I’m mentally knocked off balance quite easily. :/

– – – – – – – – – – –

ANYWAY, back to the story, I had organized to stay at her place, a night out of flirting was had and- …oh god… I just remembered an embarrassing phone call from a week before where, before a night out, I called her to see if she was around to get some fuds… er… I might post about it. erm… Any hu, yea, a night out of flirting was had and I was now walking, arms linked, with the object of my interest on the way back to her place to crash on her couch. There was some brief flustering while others from the group tried to get us to go to another bar and she said it would be perfectly all right if I went with them and got a taxi back later, unsure if this was a hint to gtfo for a bit I hesitated… but then thought “fuck it” and made up some sort of excuse about it not being fair on her and such and that I wasn’t sure where she lived etc. First near miss out of the way we got into a taxi and headed off into the night.

Her house was FREEZING!!! It was so COLD that the caps lock button gets FROZEN down every time I describe how COLD it was! Like the last time I was there we decided to watch a dvd and have a beer or two on the couch. I didn’t mind what we watched so she decided to put on a dvd she ‘hadn’t seen before‘ and didn’t know what it was about. It was called The Secretary. She didn’t notice but my eyes widened slightly as I had seen it before and knew that it was all about a D/s relationship and lots of sexyness. I did my best to keep my composure when she asked me if I had seen it and, trying to avoid embarrassment, I claimed i hadn’t. (Honestly, the only parts I remembered were where she came while being spanked and where she fapped in bed to the thought of it and I didn’t think that sort of a review would have gone down well. How little I knew). Anyway, as I said it was COLD so a blanket was whipped out and was shared between us as we settled down on the couch to watch said dvd… because… ya know, you’d only have one, smallish blanket in a house. HOWEVER, the dvd started skipping and jumping after only a short bit into it. She got up and had a look at the dvd, it was dirty… This dvd that she’d ‘never seen before‘ was in fact too dirty (not just in content) to play properly. I quietly went “um hmm, never seen it eh?” to myself as she cleaned it and played it again.

We settled in and, using the excuse of the outrageous COLD, I put my arm around her and snuggled up. We watched the dvd with all it’s deviancy and sexyness and as we got even more drunk on beer I ended up playing with her hair as she rested her head against my neck. Now, you’re probably thinking “score, you’re in there” but what I was thinking “this is a nice cuddle, pity it’s just to keep warm. I wonder if she likes me at all.” Yea, I know, I’m a bit useless at reading signs from women folk. What can I say, I’m a shy country boy.

And here’s the main point where I nearly missed it all. With the dvd finished we got up and started tidying things away, i got a glass of water and she put the dvd away and gathered her stuff that was still down stairs from the night out. Then I laied out the sleeping bag on the couch and got my stuff ready. She got up and went out the door, started to close it while looking back in.


To be continued….